Small Silverings, Big Impact

"After weeks of indescribable sorrow, the dark cloud of grief cleared for a brief moment, enough time for Matt to land on what he knew we needed to do for the girls – for us. It's when the silvering began."
-Abby Ballin

In a Stamford Connecticut house fire, Christmas Eve, 2011,
New York's Madonna Badger and Matthew Badger lost their three children.
In the years following the tragedy, 196,743 students, through 2,266 classroom-based projects
across all 50 states in the U.S., grew in the memory of Lily, Sarah, and Grace Badger due to
LilySarahGraceFund Founders Abby Ballin, the late Matthew Badge.
Work like theirs is the "why" behind The Silver Lining News.

LilySarahGraceFund Co-Founder Abby Ballin, the late Matthew Badger's partner who lost his three daughters and former in-laws in the Madonna Badger Stamford, Connecticut house fire on Christmas Eve, 2011, described the first hopeful moment in their lives after their loss with the word "silvering. "

"After weeks of indescribable sorrow, the dark cloud of grief cleared for a brief moment, enough time for Matt to land on what he knew we needed to do for the girls – for us. It's when the silvering began."

"Silver lining" didn't fit

The silvering moment for Ballin and Badger was the idea to start an organization to honor the memory of Badger's daughters. With their grief, though, the words "silver lining" weren't exactly the right words for Badger and Ballin to describe the LilySarahGrace Fund they launched in 2012. 

All their hard work was still ahead of them, and they had yet to see how their Fund would unite people and create new learning initiatives for thousands of elementary school students across the U.S.

The Silver Lining News (SLN) mission somewhat differs from the "good news" stories you might read on some platforms. We're not running from the bad news; we're bringing something new and essential to it. In the old media days, they called it "the follow-up." You would learn the story after the story, and here, we're looking for the inspiring ones with "silvering" moments in otherwise despairing situations.

With a Purpose

Rebecca McConnell founded SLN on the belief news consumers need to see more "silvering" moments such as Badger and Ballin's. That's why we have several stories about them on this site. Their story helped launch SLN's new digital version nine years ago and defines the SLN voice. We keep their stories on our site as a legacy of their work and family, and for giving us the word that describes our purpose better than any: "silvering."

Read about Badger's legacy here and in the Archive. 

Photos Courtesy of: Matthew Badger

All their hard work was still ahead of them, and they had yet to see how their Fund would unite people and create new learning initiatives for thousands of elementary school students across the U.S. Their Fund would publish a book too, and change many lives before it closed in 2018 after Badger died.

No Automatic Silver Linings

Through developing Badger and Ballin's story, I consulted Alan Pederson, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends -- the world's largest organization for bereaved families. He teaches tomorrow's future grief counselors.

He knew the Badgers' story and introduced some dynamics and concepts related to grieving parents. He also helped me understand that "silver linings" do not automatically appear with the passing of time, a year, two, three, or many. Instead, he said it is uniquely different and unpredictable for everyone who has lost a family member. We're mindful of that as we move forward in our work.

"Silvering" is the birth of a silver lining. But it's not a given. Some words about grief:

Abby Ballin inspired us with the word "silvering" in her and Matthew Badger's story. That's because we've seen tragic stories like their's and a media blitz follows. You may have experienced this too: we watch story after story hoping that a redeeming moment will soon emerge. When it does, that's the silvering moment. It's when we learn something new about the story that goes against the darkness of the event; perhaps it's a rescue, a charitable gesture, justice in a ruling, or, in Ballin's and Badger's story, a life-changing foundation. It's a comforting, consoling, or hopeful prospect that doesn't change the tragedy or even heal it but that might bring an element of peace within it.

"Words like “silver linings” can actually be quite painful." -Alan Pederson

When I consulted Alan Pederson, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends, about Badger and Ballin's story, Pederson explained that words like "silver linings" can be pretty painful to some – it means different things at different times depending on where the individual is in their grief journey, We understand that respect, sympathy, compassion, empathy, and situational awareness are needed when we look at people's "tomorrow" stories when they are still deeply immersed in today's pain. We'll remain committed to that effort at The Silver Lining News (SLN) when we develop future stories.
-Linda Kennedy

“Grief is a most peculiar thing; we’re so helpless in the face of it. It’s like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.”

―Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha